Broken
by NerdGirlTheSecond
Summary: AU. Kayaba rigged the game so that no one would live except for the winner of the game. Kirito, the only living survivor of the death game, slowly begins to go insane after his wife died. Will he lose himself? ...Or will he find a happy ending?
1. Prologue

**A/N warnings: Not well written, not betaed. Read at your own risk.**

 **Prologue**

"Kirito," He picked her up, kissing her lips.

 _No no please take him too_

"Kirito," his lover smiled, and despite what was happening he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she is. Was.

 _Don't leave him alone don't please take him too_

 _...don't leave him_

"-live," her words barely came out, nothing more than a whisper.

"-live for me." She faded into polygons and he could feel his heart breaking.

She has always had his heart, how will he live?

He feels like he's missing a piece- no, he feels like he's missing himself.

They were supposed to live together, and start a family.

But now he's shattered into a million pieces, broken beyond repair.

He has nothing.

He is nothing without her.

He chuckled. "You're so silly," he murmured. "-we were supposed to make it out together."

He looked away, sighing. "What am I supposed to do now?"

She was- no is, his everything.

He refuses to believe she's dead.

She's too strong to be dead.

But yet, there she is. Or was, anyway. His face feels wet. He must be crying.

He doesn't know what to do anymore.

He feels broken.

 _Broken..._

He stood up, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Ah, don't worry..."

He noticed all the others dying too, all around him.

Not that he cared at this moment, anyways.

Klein. Agil. Lizbeth. Everyone, and he means everyone is dead.

"I suppose there never was supposed to be a winner, was there?"

No, he definitely lost.

And now, he knows, that was always the purpose.

"I'm coming for you, Asuna."

In all the carnage (not that there was any, of course), he felt a smile tug at his lips.

Because he knew, _he knew,_ that he would see her again.

"-and I'll do whatever it takes."

 **A/N:**

 **Warnings:**

 **-Kirito/Kazuto is OOC**

 **\- Kirito is (or is going to be) insane**

 **Please review, and let me know what you think. I need to know if I'm rushing this, or not.**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

 _Warnings:_ _  
_ _-Without wifi while writing this, stuff may be wrong or inaccurate._ _  
_ _-I have only a basic, BASIC idea of the plot._

* * *

 **Beep**

 **Beep beep**

 **Beep beep beep beep beep**

 _"-he's waking up!"_  
 _  
_ _"I didn't think it was possible!"_

 _"It's a miracle!"_

 _"Check the others!"_

He laughed harshly. It sounded rough, like he was dehydrated.

 _It's not fair._

He sighed, attempting to use his arms to get back up. He failed, flopping back on the bed with almost no sound.

Was there an afterlife? If so, he's willing to bet that she's waiting for him.

 _Ah, who is he kidding?_

A nurse was glaring at him. Despite her facial expressions it was obvious that she was worried for him.

He wondered what will happen when one of her patients die…

He picked up the names of his parents- his aunt and uncle.

Why did they lie to him? _It certainly didn't protect him, if that was the idea._

The nurse held out her hand, and he grabbed it. He sat up.

His aunt and uncle were mentioned again. So was his sister, no—his cousin.

 _I wonder what they're talking about?_

He was curious now, and listened in.

"Yes, he's awake. Come over as soon as you can."

He lost interest right after that.

 _Too predictable…_

He sighed. "As…una…"

He liked the sound of her name.

"As…una."

It was like she was there with him, when he thought of her.

 _Looks like we won't be meeting each other again, huh?_

The nurse looked at him confusedly.

"Asuna? Who is that? A family member?"

Yes.

"She… She… 's… my wi-…-fe." His voice kept breaking, and it was beginning to annoy him.

 _What will Yui say when she finds out he failed?_

 _He can't face her._

 _He doesn't want to tell her. He doesn't want to hurt the only family that's left._

 _He won't tell her._

 _He can't hurt her._

 _He can't._

 _He won't._

"…Are you awake?"

Oh, it seems he zoned out.

"…Ye..s…"

The nurse smiled. It was an innocent smile.

 _She's probably new._

"Sir!"

Another nurse had appeared at the door, this one a male.

 _A male nurse, huh…? Rare._

He smiled, his mind back to his lover.

"…All the other victims… are… are…" Tears streamed down his face. "…they're… dead…!" The nurse looked up, his skin was pale and it was obvious that he was startled, at the very least.

Then the nurse turned to him, glaring at him. "It's… It's all your fault!"

 _Yes, he supposed it was._

He laughed.

…Or tried to, anyways. Apparently his throat was too messed up to actually laugh.

"My brother was in that… that _death_ game too! You, you killed him! You killed him!"

A few of the nurses tried to calm him down, but it was one of the older doctors that spoke the words that calmed down the young man.

"…We cannot avenge the dead… we can only hope to do better, to think and live for them, just like they would have wanted. Would your brother want you to do this?"

He glared at the doctor.

 _Lies._

The doctor and nurse looked over at him.

"…What did you say?" The nurse's tone was sharp, and accusing.

Oh. Looks like he said it out loud by accident.

Ah well. Not much that he can do in this case. Might as well finish the statement.

"Lies. The dead...will st-…ay dead. You can… ne-…ver get… them ba-…ck."

"Kazuto-kun!"

"Kazuto!"

His aunt, uncle, and cousin all enveloped him, hugging him.

 _Maybe I will see you again after all._

He chuckled at his own joke. Or tried to, at least.

"…You-…'re cho-…k-…ing… me…!"

They all let go of him, their eyes wide.

"You're alive! I'm— we all thought—" His aunt broke into sobs. "You're _alive_!"

His cousin and uncle were silent, tears streaming down their face. Their grins were so wide, they nearly touched their ears.

They didn't look crazy though.

Not like him.

His aunt had taken hold of him again, sobbing on his gown.

 _I don't deserve to be happy… Asuna…_

He deserved to suffer. After all, it was his fault that everyone was dead.

"I'm… I'm just so happy to see you awake, Kazuto-kun…"

His aunt took a shaky breath, tear threatening to spill onto her cheeks.

"We were going to have to take you off life support tomorrow…"

 _If only they did…_

He's not going to take the easy way out. He doesn't deserve happiness. He'll wait. He'll wait as long as it takes.

…Until he was forgiven.

Until Asuna came back—

 _She's not alive. She's dead. Dead. Why can't you get that through your head, idiot? She's dead and it's all your fault._

 _All. Your. Fault._

The voice was right.

….

…..

….

….But he wasn't going to give up just yet.

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _-Slow development._

 _-Most likely OOC._

 _-There will be a few OCs in this story, but it will be mainly between Kirito's Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin._


	3. Chapter 2

_Warnings/AN:_

 _-All of the information in this chapter may not be entirely accurate; I tried as best as I could but sadly I'm not a doctor._

 _-Rehabilitation, Mentions of depression._

 _-OOC ness in Kirito's part._

 _-Minor OC._

 _-Bad writing._

* * *

"Alright Kirigaya-san… How are you feeling?"

He was sick of this place. Sick of the doctors, sick of the nurses and sick of the patients. They were nice enough, sure, but it was their job to be nice.

 _It was unrealistic, and certainly didn't fit how he felt. He didn't have a purpose anymore, but still he refused to hurt himself—after all, he_ was _trapped in a death game for 2 years. It would be stupid to throw his life away like that—plus, he couldn't imagine how mad Asuna would be at him if he did that._

"Kirigaya-san…! Are you paying attention?"

He snapped up from his thoughts. "H-huh?! Oh, yeah!"

The therapist raised an eyebrow, and chuckled. "…Alright, then… Now, I think we'll start out with walking today…"

 _It would be nice to pee normally…_

He nodded, and the therapist got up from where she was seated, across from him in a cushy brown chair.

She helped him out of the wheelchair, and let him lean on her as he struggled to stand.

This was when he realized, with a pang, that the therapist looked almost exactly like Asuna. Her hair was a bit off-color, but it was still similar enough to bring back his guilt.

 _It's all your fault she's dead._

He took a deep breath, ignoring the voice.

The therapist must have taken this as a sign of exhaustion, for she looked at him with concern. "Are you alright, Kirigaya-san?"

He couldn't look at her. It hurt too much. So instead, he looked down and ignored her.

"Kirigaya-san, I can't head back if you won't tell me anything."

He turned his head stubbornly when she kneeled down to look at him. His legs wobbled but he was still able to stand up.

"Kirigaya-san." He snuck a peek at her; her face stern and cross. It reminded him of when he first met Asuna.

"You need to tell me if something's wrong. You can't just _ignore_ me like this."

 _He could, and he will._

The therapist grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

 _Asuna…? Have you come back to me…?_

The determination in this woman's eyes was almost like Asuna's. Could it really be…?

"Asuna?"

The nurse jolted back, letting go of him. "Who?"

 _Oh, now look what I've done… How could I be so_ stupid?

"No one." He muttered.

 _You don't deserve her,_ the voice chattered gleefully.

"Do I remind you of her?"

He started to walk away, and his legs shook slightly under him.

He ignored the woman's protests, continuing to walk away. To where, he wasn't sure.

 _How pathetic. You can't even make simple conversation anymore._

"Kirigaya-san…!" The woman's exasperated cries grew louder, as she trailed behind him.

"Ugh-! Kazuto!"

 _Asuna, why are you calling me that?_

He turned around again.

 _Even her_ voice _sounds like Asuna's. How could he ever think that anyone else could be Asuna? Asuna's_ dead _, and nothing can change that._

He looked the therapist up and down, and growled.

 _This woman doesn't_ deserve _to even_ think _of her._

… _I don't deserve to think of her._

 _I killed her._

"Kazuto!" The therapist was at her wit's end, she was clenching her fists so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

He smirked, turning his head.

 _He wanted her to hurt her, even if just for a second._

"—Yes?"

The therapist _growled,_ and suggested that they lift weights next—all the while with an evil smirk on her face.

He wasn't focused on that, though. No matter _how_ much he hated weight-lifting.

 _What was that? What just came over me?_

He nodded listlessly, following the therapist without a second thought.

A sense of dread was filling him, and the further he went, the more it consumed him.

But it was nothing compared to the sense of _hatred_ that he had felt.

Hatred for the game, hatred for Kayaba, hatred for the therapist, hatred for the rehabilitation and just…

 _-hatred._

He blacked out.

* * *

The nurse had never had a patient as stubborn as Kirigaya Kazuto was. She didn't know how to deal with him, and he didn't seem to trust _her_ , either.

Which was fine by her, really. Although trust would make the rehabilitation a lot easier, it wasn't necessary.

-though when he refused to talk to her, she admitted to herself that trust would be nice.

"Kirigaya-san, I can't head back if you don't tell me anything." She was worried about him. After all, it wasn't too strange for it to be harder to talk after a coma.

 _Especially_ after all that he had done, she's sure he didn't come out of that game unscathed, that's for sure.

He turned around from her, escaping her grasp and she felt a sense of exasperation.

"Kirigaya-san." She felt herself frowning.

 _I swear, this job is going to give me gray hair._

"You need to tell me if something's wrong. You can't just _ignore_ me like this."

She had grown angry at this point, and grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her.

Pale and diminished as he was, he still managed to glare at her.

"Asuna?"

Hope was in his eyes now, and it made her wonder how important this Asuna was to him.

She was caught by surprise, and let go of him. "Who?" She demanded sharply.

"No one." He replied solemnly.

She winced immediately afterwards.

 _So much for trust…_

"Do I remind you of her?"

He ignored her and walked away.

 _And here she thought they were getting somewhere…_

"Kirigaya-san! Get back over here!"

"Kirigaya-san!"

Frustration began to enter her tone as she ran after him.

"Kazuto!"

 _For someone who was supposedly in a coma, he's surprisingly fast._

"Kazuto!"

"Ugh—Kazuto!"

"Kazuto!"

He turned back around, looked her up and down, and _growled._

He smirked. "—Yes?"

 _Well fine, if that's the way you want it._

She coated her voice with honey. "Why don't we lift weights next, since you're so energetic today?"

Her patient (finally!) began to follow behind her as she led him back to her office.

But something was obviously _wrong_ when he started to choke her.

"K-Kiri-Kirigay-Kirigaya-san!"

 _She couldn't breathe!_

He was looming over her, eyes cold and calculating.

He didn't speak, he didn't laugh he didn't do _anything,_ and it terrified her.

 _Air! Air!_

Right when she was about to pass out, she was let go.

He blinked, coming back to reality.

 _What just happened?_

He noticed a panting and gasping therapist in the corner, as far away from him as she could possibly be.

Her throat was marked with deep red hand marks.

 _Did I choke her?_

He walked over to her, putting out one hand as a sign of peace.

 _No, I wouldn't do something like that._

… _I think._

But as she backed away with a look of terror on his face, reality began to set in.

 _I choked her…?_

… _But why?_

* * *

 _AN: -Can't help but feel that Kirito is very OOC in this chapter._

 _-Longest chapter yet!_

 _Please review! I need to know what you think about this chapter—I'm not very sure about it's quality. Anything works! One-letter works!_


	4. Chapter 3

_Warnings:_

 _-Unbetaed_

 _-Mild Mentions of Depression_

 _-OOC pretty much everyone_

 _-Moderately average writing_

 _-Slightly unrealistic events_

 _-Tired writer_

 _A/N:_ _ **IMPORTANT STUFF AT THE VERY END OF THE CHAPTER.**_

"Nii-san? Are you coming out or not!?"

"Nii-san… I'm worried about you. Please—"

Sugu had been outside his door for almost an hour now. He had originally been dead set on ignoring her (he had better things to do, after all), but it was obvious she wasn't going to leave.

He unlocked the door with a sigh.

"What do you want, Sugu?"

His sister shrunk for a moment, her eyes sinking. "I- I was wondering…" she bit her lip. "—if you wanted to watch me practice…" she mumbled the last part, and he had to strain his ears to hear her.

 _Is that what this is about?_

This reminded him of the times before he got stuck in SAO.

Now that he thought about it, how he acted was kind of ridiculous.

….But then again, he'd always been pretty childish.

"I don't know, Sugu…. I'm pretty busy…." He replied.

Her eyes hardened with a determination.

 _Where have I seen that before?_

She smacked him with her bamboo sword.

"…Ow…" He rubbed his head, groaning.

 _Could it be…?_

"Alright, alright… I get it, I'm coming…!" He chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets.

She nodded happily. "Alright! Wait until you see how much better I've gotten!"

He laughed, elbowing her playfully in the ribs. "I can't wait," he replied with a grin.

* * *

 _I can't believe it…_

 _Looks like you proved them wrong,_ he thought with a smile.

 _I wouldn't expect anything less from you._

"What's wrong, Nii-san?" Her head was cocked in confusion, a curious look on her face.

"…you've been looking at me strangely…" she continued with a blush.

He blinked. _What's with the title?_

"What's with the title? We're not brothers and sisters."

A look of hurt was on her face.

 _Why is she acting so strange?_

"What are you talking about, Nii-san? I've always been your sister—"

He cut her off. "No…" he walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and she dropped her sword in shock.

"…Asuna, why are you acting so strange?" His tone turned serious. "—Is something wrong?"

She was shaking all over, her fists clenched and her eyes directed at the floor, filled with rage and confusion.

"You— _you—_ **BAKA**!"

She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

The first thought that came to his mind was:

 _I will never understand women._

With a sigh, he put the sword back where it went and headed back to his room to finish his schoolwork.

 _Best not to bother her._

* * *

He frowned as he set down his pencil.

He ruffled his hair in frustration. "Ugh, I can't focus enough to do schoolwork now…"

He was too focused on the fact that _an entire hour of his memory was missing._

 _How could something like that just disappear?_

He shivered, trying not to cry.

The last thing he remembered was Sugu asking him if he wanted to watch her practice.

He glanced back at his homework, pushing it away with a scowl.

 _Maybe Sugu knows something._

* * *

"Come on Sugu, I know you're in there… Come on, I just want to ask something?"

 _Seriously? I didn't think she was this childish…_

"Come on, please?"

The door finally opened to reveal his sister's shaken form.

"Why don't you just go ask _Asuna?_ " Her voice was filled with pure hate, coated with venom as smooth as honey.

 _She knows?_

"It's not my fault…" he muttered.

He would never kill Asuna.

Never.

She was alive.

 _Or was she?_

He ignored the voice, shaking. He walked away, heading towards the video game store.

After all, he would have to start looking for her somewhere.

 _You won't find her, because she's_ dead. _She's dead and you killed her._

No, she wasn't. They still had Yui, and they were going to start a family together.

 _You lost your chance when she died._

He ignored the voice with a frown.

* * *

Gēmusutoa…

He opened the door, and a bell rang.

The store was smaller, but the walls were covered with video games of all kinds. On display in the middle of the store on a podium, was a game called ALfheim Online.

Curious, he walked over to it.

 _It must be pretty popular if it's displayed that much._

He picked up the game, reading the back.

"Another VRMMORPG, huh?"

Asuna might own this game.

It _was_ (or at least seemed to be) pretty popular.

He set the game on the counter, calling for the cashier.

The cashier (when he came) seemed uncomfortable, his eyes downcast on the floor.

"Sir, I'm sorry but you can't buy the display—"

He cut the cashier off with a glare.

The cashier shivered in response, ringing up the game with a look of fear and disbelief.

"Thanks," he commented, hoping to calm the cashier down a little.

He picked up the game, sighing.

 _You'd better be waiting for me, Asuna._

 _A/N: So I sprained my high ankle…_

 _Just my luck xD_

 _I'm going to ask you guys a question:_ _ **What do you want to happen to Yui and Kirito/Kazuto?**_

 _ **Please vote in the reviews.**_

 _Anyway, this cripple is out._

 _Peace!_

 _EDIT: Forgot the Line breaks. Also as for the threat I posted, just ignore it. I could give you an excuse buy :/ I hate excuses. Anyway, thanks for reading. :)_


End file.
